Helen and I came to live in Westfield Road in 2004, a few doors away from Sheila, and so we were neighbours for some sixteen years. We first became aware of Sheila in the street, going past our window pushing her trolley as she walked the long mile to the Broadway shops and back. We were struck by her diminutive figure, scarcely more than 5 foot tall, making her journeys with a set facial expression of strong determination.  


Sheila also walked her dog every day and had a number of friends that she met in the street. She had looked after a succession of rescue dogs at home and was well-known amongst the other dog-walkers in the neighbourhood,  and at the vet surgeries, from her encounters with like-minded animal-lovers over the years. 


Gradually we came to know each other better as we integrated into the immediate group of neighbourhood friends, established long before our arrival, and little by little closer relations were developed. In typical neighbourhood fashion we shared and exchanged favours in small everyday matters and in this way we took increasing interest in each other and learned  more of our respective families and histories. We would meet to celebrate birthdays, or to go on shopping outings and enjoy a coffee together, or go for a pub lunch and catch up on news, and we took turns to host afternoon tea gatherings in our gardens and enjoy the sunshine in the summer.  


With Sheila in particular we planned outings to the best plant nurseries as we shared a common interest in things connected with the garden. Sheila’s garden was extraordinary. She was a keen and knowledgeable plants-person with an instinctive practical understanding of what was needed and a magic green-touch. She had very full front and back gardens at her home, caring for everything from Bonsai to mature trees. She grew many different plants and flowers, shrubs of all sizes, bushes, creepers and vines, and she even cultivated wild flowers that had blown in and taken their hold in the driveway. She had an amazing number of pots with different plants that she would begin and reposition as they needed, and many of these had long since grown right through the pot and taken root beyond. She would leave them undisturbed. She also had a variety of grasses that she had cultivated, and everything was combined in an extraordinary variety. She often began from seed, and also took cuttings and potted-them-on in her greenhouse, and she knew both the common and the Latin name of everything that she had planted.  She even had nicknames to match the particular character of individual plants as they grew.  She was always alert to the work and keen to make an outing e.g. to ‘Homebase’ to see whether there was a new and more ergonomic tool to extend her reach or grip and torque for digging or cutting.   


As well as making knowledgeable and careful interventions in her garden, Sheila made sure that its wild aspect was left to develop naturally. As a keen observer, she kept the bird feeders and baths supplied daily, and knew where e.g. the Dunnocks and Coal Tits were nesting. She would describe to us the behaviour of e.g. the woodpeckers when they arrived. She knew where the hedgehogs and foxes had been from the trails they left in the undergrowth and anticipated the arrival of the frogs and damselflies by the pond, and of the bees by the flowers, with her watchful ‘weather eye’.  Her love for wildlife made the garden a constant source of interest and she would relay her observations with chuckles and scolding as if the birds and animals in her garden had been members of her own family. Being motivated to follow the increasingly prominent climate and green issues she was keen to read books that focussed upon the natural world. She followed and was up to date with every detail of e.g. the SpringWatch TV series and admired especially the David Attenborough nature programmes, appreciating the wonders revealed in the advanced camera technology.   


We were so impressed with this that we made a video-recording in which Sheila was interviewed as she showed us round her garden, and we hope that anyone interested to see this will follow this link below.  


https://drive.google.com/file/d/15sf-xyJzVZmkLre3n-O4Zu7k_rZeWqlw/view?usp=sharing  


One of my fondest memories of being with Sheila is when we went walking together in early spring in the grounds of Kenwood House in 2017, when she was 88. We went to see the early blooms, to have a cup of coffee in the coachhouse and to visit the garden shop with seeds and plants for sale, which shop she particularly liked.  We spent an hour walking through the paths and across the lawns in light sunshine, surrounded by the crocuses, snowdrops and early daffodils, with the spectacular magnolias in full bloom and the camellias coming into flower. Walking slowly together, and listening to the birdsong, I was aware of being with a very perceptive and appreciative companion.  


We enjoyed Sheila’s company, and often found opportunity to chat, and  naturally and gradually we acquired certain roles through the routines of contact. We happily fulfilled various tasks in relation to her. My role was as  an ‘odd-job’  DIY man- a mover of furniture, a changer of lightbulbs, a fixer of loose screws  - as it was easier for me to climb a ladder or lift a heavy weight than it was for Sheila.  I was probably one of several!  Helen’s role was more connected to assisting with transport for necessary outings to shops, post office, chemist etc. Sheila retained full and independent control over the different areas of her life and being a firm organiser with a business-like mind, had accumulated a number of different kinds of support amongst her network of friends. As time went on and she approached her 90s, and various health issues became more evident, it became more difficult for her to manage independently the house, the garden and the running of all her affairs. She became physically more restricted and outings became more strenuous.  However, she was adept at delegating tasks, and as she gradually required more input from her support network I was asked e.g. to put up handles to aid her movement up and down the steps. In typical fashion, with the careful choice of one of her many walking sticks and her customary iron will, she walked out and celebrated her 90th birthday with our group of neighbourhood friends and we shared a pub lunch followed by a cream tea and a trip on a canal narrowboat at Broxbourne. 


Eventually it became difficult for Sheila even to walk, but she nonetheless battled determinedly forward with her routines at home, although we neighbours were worried that she may be at risk.  However, we could tell that she was still ‘her old self’ when she critically compared the advantages and disadvantages of a number of different walking aids while recovering from a fall!  She remained happiest at home and was able to remain there, comfortably supported in her final months with a care package organised by her GP and in the kind hands of nurses from the North London Hospice.  Sheila died peacefully in her own bed, in her sleep, in the small hours of Tuesday 16th March 2021, at age nearly 92.   


Helen and I knew got to know Sheila mainly as she progressed through her 80s.  Her second husband, Bert, had died some years before our arrival in the neighbourhood, and she was already retired and lived alone. 


We have only hazy sketches of the course of her earlier life, pieced together from remarks she made or the occasional description and memory that she related. We hope that others who knew her better and at an earlier time will contribute something here to fill out her history more precisely.  


Although Sheila had no children of her own, she had a step-family through a previous marriage of her second husband Bert. We understand that she grew up in Barnet, and that at some point after leaving school as a young woman she worked for Swan and Edgar in the millinary department. She left that employment in order to look after her father who needed her support at home.  Her first husband was a maker/repairer of musical instruments and they had a shop.  Sheila described that they were also members of a small group performing e.g. at working men’s clubs, and she showed us an old newspaper cutting with a photograph in which she was working a marionette onstage while singing ‘Underneath The Arches’!  At the back of the music shop she ran a Travel Agency, and they lived in the flat above.  At some point she met Bert, who became her second husband. The Travel Agency was bought by Horseshoe Coaches and Sheila was employed as secretary to the new owner, managing the bookings, arranging the outings, and was also responsible for the book-keeping and accounts. She remained connected to the family and the company and was in their employment for the remainder of her working life.   Sheila and Bert came to live in the home in Westfield Road with which we associated her, and they had originally planned and worked on the garden together. We understand that they also had a boat and enjoyed weekend sailing outings on the river.  Although officially retired, Sheila was still connected in some professional capacity with book-keeping at the time that we first met her, and still functioned as a business woman, although already in her late 70s - and she continued with this for as long as we knew her.    


Dear Sheila, kind friend to animals, nurturing helper to things that grow, determined and independent spirit, your wonderful qualities and the strength of your unique individuality will remain in our hearts and minds, and we will remember you always with fondest affection.   


Sincerely and with love,    


Ron Sutton-Jones &. Helen Smuts. 


PS:  We trust that this tribute will help to promote the memory of our friend and neighbour, Sheila Meeks, and assist in furthering the causes that she recognised as worthwhile.